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Showing posts from November, 2008

The Song Remains the Same

Even though I have had my fill of family recently and they have the tendency to drive me crazy, I was feeling a tad meloncholy on Friday after Momma, Daddy, and Carol left. Some how when I am in these moods, music always speaks to me. It touches something inside me and relates in a way nothing else can. The right song at the right moment can totally lift my spirits. This was definitely the case on Friday. I had three songs come up that fit the bill and fixed my mood. The first song wasn't so much the song as the title. A song called "Still Haunted". I have never heard it. I don't know who it is by but the title said everything. In so many ways I am still haunted. Haunted by the memories of J. We met this time last year and my mind is constantly flooded with memories of our time together. There isn't a longing associated with these memories anymore. More a nostalgia. A thought to how much things have changed for me in the past year. I am also haunt

Meme

Tagged by Ra The rules? Answer the following questions in one word and then pass it on to seven others. Where is your cell phone? kitchen Where is your significant other? nonexistent Your hair color? brown Your mother? kind Your father? quiet Your favorite thing? Maverick Your dream last night? work Your dream/goal? accomplished The room you’re in? office Your hobby? scrapbooking Your fear? death Where do you want to be in 6 years? remarried Where were you last night? play What you’re not? skinny One of your wish-list items? money Where you grew up? mobile Last thing you did? print What are you wearing? grubbies Your TV? HD Your pet? loud Your computer? Dell Your mood? determined Missing someone? always Your car? 4Runner Something you’re not wearing? contacts Favorite store? Ikea Your summer? hot Love someone? hopefully Your favorite color? purple When is the last time you laughed? yesterday Last time you cried? weeks Tag your it: Gina , Hope , Grayson

My Series of Unfortunate Events

I have been writing this blog in my head since last night. This blog came from a series of events that while not at all related have made for an interesting 24-hour period for me. It started with posts from two of my fellow divorce club bloggers about how to handling their exes moving on. In their cases, they were referring to their ex-husbands. For me, I am fortunate that while the thought of Shawn getting married again seems weird, it doesn't bother me. My thought is more power to the poor soul who ends up with him. I know what life with him was like and I don't wish that on my worst enemy. I know he is dating someone in his hometown which I think is great since she is probably more what he was looking for in the first place. What I do have to deal with is the guys I have dated post divorce moving on which brings up event #2 that also happened last night. I came across a picture of J and his new girlfriend at a party. While James wasted no time finding someone else

New Computer Ramblings

I bought a new desktop a few weeks ago and I finally got around to setting it up this weekend. I forgot how much easier it could be to type on a regular keyboard rather than my laptop. I have also been undertaking the huge task of organizing my office. The office has been the catch all room since I moved. Some of the boxes in here are ones I packed when Shawn moved out to separate our stuff so I hadn't seen their contents in more than a year. I came across a Valentine's card from Nanny that was probably one of the last cards she sent me before she died two and a half years ago. It's amazing how something so simple can make you hurt so much. I guess Memommie's death still has me kind of tender in the heart. There are still a few boxes that need to be sorted and reorganized but I made a lot of progress. I think Maverick is enjoying me hanging out in his room with him. He lays at my feet while I work on the computer. Truth be told I probably like his company mor

What a Difference a Week Makes

This time last week I was packing to head home for the second time in as many weeks for Memommie's funeral. I had spent the better portion of the day with Wally and I was waiting for him to finish uploading his footage from the night before so he could come over for a while. I now know that was all a lie. Some time over the course of the weekend he deleted me from his Facebook friends list and blocked me on AOL Instant Messenger. Why, you might ask? Wouldn't I love to know. However, I don't because I haven't heard anything from him since he dropped me off at my car last Saturday night. No returned phone calls, no explanation of why he choose to end our relationship. I realized all this while I was getting ready to go to my grandmother's wake. As if I wasn't dealing with an emotional time already, add being blown off by the guy you were supposedly dating. I have run the gammit of emotions since Monday. First, hurt closely followed by confusion. I am n

Memommie

I had barely gotten my suitcase unpacked from my business trip to Alabama last week when I got the call from my mom that we had been expecting for years. My grandmother, Memommie, had passed away. Memommie had been suffering from Alzheimer's disease for more than 20 years. She had been having a hard time the last couple of weeks and the time had finally come for her to go home. After processing the information, I started making the necessary preparations to head back home. Clay, my brother, and I boarded a plane back to Mobile Sunday afternoon. The next three days were a blur of visiting my aunt who was my grandmother's caretaker, attending the wake and funeral, and a constant stream of friends and neighbors calling and bringing by food. When my plane finally touched down in Austin this afternoon, I was completely exhausted. I never expected Memommie's death would be so hard. I felt like I had processed losing her years ago after watching her mind and body deterior