Just Say Julie

 Hi Momma, Yesterday was one month since we lost you. I cried in church. I am not really sure why except that I needed to be there. That was the first time I had cried in several days. The tears are slowing down a bit at least. Unfortunately, Todd's wife, Melissa, passed yesterday.  Daddy is planning to go to Birmingham for the funeral. I am glad he can make it since Todd, Earl, and Todd's son, Thomas, came for your funeral. It was nice to see them.  It has been too long. I wish we were able to spend more time together as a family. I also wanted to tell you that I am sorry we didn't tell you about Mr. Bill.  We didn't want to upset you with everything that you were dealing with.  I am sure Mr. Bill was there to escort you when you got to heaven. Daddy and I went to Mr. Bill's funeral the Saturday after you died. After we left the ceremony, we drove out to the cemetery to finalize the arrangements there. That was a tough day.  I am doing my best to stay busy...

 8 years since I have touched this blog.  But I need this space now to express my grief.  I don't care if anyone ever reads this.  It is for me. Dear Momma, 22 days. That is how long it has been since you breathed your last breath. 22 days. 3 weeks and 1 day. Not a long time but forever ago as well.  Vince and I were there. I hope you knew we were there and that you weren't alone. We didn't realize what was happening in the moment. Everything just happened so fast. And it was so quiet. We sat with you for awhile after and waited for Daddy to come. I didn't want to leave that room because I knew how final it would be. So much has happened since then.  So much I have wanted to tell you.  So many times I wanted to pick up the phone and call.  But I can't. You won't answer. I won't ever hear your voice again. People tell me that you know what is going on. That you can see it as it happens. I hope so but I need to make sure you know. Here is what has h...

1. Serve vegetables nightly with dinner when we cook at home 2. Bake from scratch and actually try some new recipes 3. Blog at least once a month 4. Read at least one book a month 5. Get Jackson ready to start Kindergarten in August 6. Attend Bobbye's Graduation in May 7. Learn to make gumbo like my mom does 8. Finish my community placement in May 9. Buy new living room furniture 10. Finish decorating the house before August 11. Clean out the garage by the end of February 12. Lose 20 pounds (and more if possible) 13. Get Jackson involved in some sort of activity, either more sports or something else he will enjoy 14. Take a vacation that doesn't include visiting family 15. See Alabama play in the Cowboys Classic in September 16. Work on a budget and stick to it 17. Celebrate Jackson's 5th birthday in July 18. Volunteer at VBS 19. Spend a long weekend in Houston with my brother 20. Spend a weekend with Chris's family in Wicitia Falls 21...

1. Buy a house. - Done. Contract signed in January. House completed in August. We have been loving it ever since. 2. Finish my JLA Provisional year in May. - Done. I was so happy to end that year. It was a lot of hard work. Rewarding but hard. 3. Start my community placement in the fall. - Done. Although I haven't been very happy with my placement so far. I have a lot of work ahead of me between now and May. 4. Get Jackson involved in some sort of activity. - Done. Two Seasons of T-Ball with Chris coaching one of them 5. Get the boys back into swim lessons. - Done. Although Jackson still isn't too comfortable in the water. Sean was able to take lessons during his summer camp at the Y. Two birds. One stone. 6. Take a vacation. - Disney for Thanksgiving! Done. So much fun. I'm ready to go back. 7. Celebrate our 5th anniversary in June. - Done. We spent the weekend at Sea World in San Antonio although we spent our actual anniversary at the emergency vet sinc...

1. What did you do in 2015 that you'd never done before? Had a house built. 2. Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I didn't really do resolutions but I did do much better on my to do list than I thought I did. 3. Did anyone close to you give birth? My coworker, Sarah, and my Sister-in-Law, Jenny 4. Did anyone close to you die? My Aunt Carol 5. What countries did you visit? None and this answer probably won't change anytime soon. 6. What would you like to have in 2016 that you didn't have in 2015? More free time. More money. 7. What dates from 2015 will be etched upon your memory, and why? February 13th and August 5th 8. What was your biggest achievement of this year? Getting our finances in order so we could buy a house 9. What was your biggest failure? My weight as usual. Allowing our credit cards to build back up after we closed on the house. 10. Did you suffer illn...

One year ago this morning, I woke up to a text that said, "I'm OK. It's not me." A couple of years earlier after a local officer was shot and I couldn't reach Chris, he agreed to text me if there were any incidents over night to let me know he was OK.  I didn't know what had happened when I woke up on September 18th last year but I knew it wasn't good if I was getting that text. I immediately started scanning Twitter for any news of what might be going on. And then I found it: a car had been swept away in the flood waters overnight and the driver was missing. Based on the location of the incident, I knew his shift had been involved in the search. I just wasn't sure how they were being effected by this. I finally got Chris on the phone about an hour later and what I heard wasn't good. He couldn't tell me what was going on but he was upset. All I was able to get out of him was someone he knew was not OK. The news finally broke on my way to work...

Carol was my mom's only sister, younger by two years, and as different from my mom as she could possibly be.  The two drove each other crazy but they would do anything for each other. I was named after her and planned to use my middle name for a little girl if I ever had one.  We lost Carol early Friday morning.  When I was home last April, we knew something was wrong. We were visiting the college my mom, Carol, and I all attended and she was just out of sorts. By June, we had an answer: ALS. This was devastating news to hear especially since my family had dealt with Alzheimer's in my grandmother for nearly 20 years until she died in 2008. We had no idea how long she would survive or what obstacles we would face. My mom and my uncle stepped to start caring for Carol. They were by her side when she passed.  My aunt spent most of her career as a school teacher.  She also graduated from seminary and worked as a children's pastor for several years. She was married f...

On his way out the door tonight, Chris apologized for having to work all weekend since that meant we couldn't do anything special for Valentine's Day. I'll admit I'm actually a little bummed about it this year. I'm not really sure why since we aren't normally ones to do anything big for Valentine's Day. I think Chris has had to work every Valentine's Day since we got together so we usually recognize the day but celebrate later. Besides I always hate how hard it is to go to a nice dinner that night because you either need a reservation or have to wait two hours. Our fancy Valentine's dinner is always the Heart Baker pizza from Papa Murphy's (I'm a sucker for a heart shaped pizza). So I don't understand my melancholy this year. I guess the holiday being on Saturday and knowing we could have taken the boys to the Y for Kids' Night makes me sad that we can't actually do anything. Instead we have a play date with a daycare friend and h...

One thing I don't normally do on this blog is prompt myself or goods that I am trying to sell or anything like.  However, the time has come for a little shameless self promotion of sorts. I would like you to meet Clay.  Clay is my big brother (the younger of the two big brothers) and he is participating in the HEB Slimdown Showdown this year.  For those of you who are Texans, HEB is a Texas grocery store chain that is based out of San Antonio. Each year they host the Slimdown Showdown as a way to prompt healthy living in the new year.  The contestants are put through a Fit Camp at the start of the program and given tools to help them be more physically active and eat healthier. They are asked to blog about their experience through the contest and talk about how their habits are changing and how the program is helping them. That is where you come in. Clay needs people to check out his blog. To comment. To share it on social media. To do all those fun th...

Tell us a *memory* of  watching a specific tv show/movie during your childhood. My favorite TV memory from my childhood was watching the movies they made a television event. You know back before VCRs and DVDs when Mary Poppins and Wizard of Oz came one once per year.  It was a special occasion. My mom would get TV dinners (that had to be cooked in the oven because we didn't have a microwave then) and we got to eat in the family room in front of the TV. This was a rare treat since I grew up in a house where family dinners were a nightly thing. We all sat at the table and ate together. The one that stands out the most was the year they showed (or I should say tried to show) King Kong in 3D. They sent the 3D glasses out in the local newspaper so everyone would have them for the movie. However, the 3D didn't really work so we ended up ditching the glasses and just watching movie without. But it was so much fun to have nights with my family in front of the TV all watching the ...

The number 1 thing on my 2015 to do list was buy a new house. We have been in a rental since we sold our house in 2013. While there is nothing wrong with our current living situation, this house always felt temporary. The house met our needs when we had three weeks to move but now more than a year and a half later, I can see the faults in it.  Chris finally agreed with me around Christmas after looking at a picture I took of the Christmas tree where he declared, "This is not our house."  Since then, he has been a man on a mission to find "our house."  We started the house hunt at the beginning of January. For three weeks, we spent hours touring houses and attending open houses.  We found houses we liked only to have them go under contract before we could see them or put in an offer ourselves. I was printing novels from the MLS and making notes like crazy. Our preapproval was in process. Everything was heading down the path to home ownership.  We just had to find...

What’s something about you today that would totally shock 10 year old you? Why the change?      At career day in 5th grade, ten year old me dressed up in a hot pink unitard and stated that I wanted to be a dance teacher and open my own dance studio. Ten year old me would be shocked that I don't dance anymore.  Mom put me in dance at age 5 because I need an activity to get my energy out. For the next 12 years, Gale's Studio of Dance was my second home. I would do dance camp in the summers. I would do my homework in the dressing room between classes. It was my life until high school. In high school, I started to branch out and get involved in school activities.  I was in band, a cheerleader, on dance team, and in clubs.  I also started to realize that I wasn't as good of a dancer as others around me and the idea of making dance my life wasn't realistic.  I quit dance half way through my junior year in high school. I was recovering from the chicke...

So I'm late to the game but I think 2014 is a year that definitely needed to be reviewed. So much happened, both good and bad, that I want to remember it. Plus I wasn't very good at documenting the events of the year. 1. What did you do in 2014 that you'd never done before? Rode in an ambulance and a police car. Had an organ removed. 2. Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I didn't really do resolutions but I did do much better on my to do list than I thought I did. 3. Did anyone close to you give birth? I don't think so but I don't really remember. 4. Did anyone close to you die? Both Chris's grandmother and uncle passed away within less than a month of each other. Then Chris's shift mate died in the line of duty when her patrol car was swept away in flood waters. 5. What countries did you visit? None and this answer probably won't change anytime soon. 6. What woul...

You would think it would be easy to come up with things you want to accomplish during a year but I'm struggling this year.  My focus is on buying a house and moving right now so everything else seems secondary and feels like it will change as soon as that happens. But after reading through a few other 2015 to do lists, I have finally come up with a decent list for myself for this year.   1. Buy a house. 2. Finish my JLA Provisional year in May. 3. Start my community placement in the fall. 4. Get Jackson involved in some sort of activity. 5. Get the boys back into swim lessons.  6. Take a vacation.  7. Celebrate our 5th anniversary in June.  8. Welcome my newest nephew in April. 9. See Alabama play in the Cowboys Classic in September.  10. Work on a Budget and stick to it. 11. Do something about my weight. 12. Celebrate Jackson's 4th birthday in July. 13. Volunteer at VBS. 14. Make time to read. 15. Buy a new bed for Jackson to replace the toddler bed. 16. S...

Take a trip that doesn't include visiting my parents or any other family. - Done: Chris and I took Jackson to Sea World for our anniversary in June. It was a fun little get away. Pay off a couple of credit cards and keep them paid off. - Done: We were able to utilize some extra money to make this happen.  Go on at least 1 date a month with Chris. - Not Exactly: We did go out quite a bit thanks to our Y membership and the cheap childcare they offer on the weekends but then things got busy and we didn't have time to go out. Take the boys to Disney World. - Ha! Nope. Read 24 books that are being turned into movies. - Not even close. I think I read 11 books and it has been months since I read anything. Spend an entire weekend kid free. - Two if you count my trips to Alabama for my Judson board meetings. See Alabama play in Bryant-Denny Stadium. - A girl can dream, can't she? Participate in NaBloPoMo. - Haha this didn't even cross my mind. Complete the 52 Week Money Challeng...

It seems to be a common theme among my fellow bloggers that we are all having a hard time finding time to blog.  Fortunately, my friend, Ginger, is trying to do something about that.  First she put out a challenge to write on her blog more and invited us to join her. Then she decided to start her Bring Back the Words post prompts again. Yay! I love these since they give me something to write about instead of just writing about whatever comes to mind. So here we go with the first round of prompts. 1.) First day of school. I honestly don't remember anything significant about any of my first days of school. I guess that means nothing major happened so they don't stand out for me.  So I will talk about the boys. We are about a week and a half away from school starting here. Sean will be in fourth grade this year. And Jackson, well, he starts 3 year old PreK. He isn't changing classes at his daycare. They did that at the beginning of the summer so the kids could get used t...

Since downloading the Time Hop app a few months ago, I have enjoyed the reminders of my past life. Pictures of a chubby cheeked Jackson. Tweets from my single days. Flashbacks to being pregnant. Lots of fun memories are stored in the various forms of social media I play around with. But today I got a reminder of one of the best moments in my life. Two years ago today, we found out my mom was cancer free. Six months of chemo were done and she was OK. The sense of relief I felt in that moment wa overwhelming. The past two years haven't been easy. Mom still struggles with weakness and endurance. She misses the independence she had before getting to sick. But she is still here and Jackson still has his Gran and we are all so grateful for that. She has a PET scan scheduled next month. If that one comes back clear, her changes of the cancer coming back decrease greatly. But for now, I am proud to know that my mom is a survivor and pray that we have many more years with her here.  ...

Nobody tagged me, but it seems like all my pocket friends are doing this right now so I figured it was a good excuse to dust off the old blog and do a few updates. 1. What is your favorite kind of cheese? My current favorite would probably be Jarlsberg. We bought a giant block of it from Sam's and I will just stand in the kitchen and cut off chunks of it to munch on. 2. What are you excited about? My new job! I start in a couple of weeks and I am really excited that I won't have a long commute anymore so I can spend more time at home. 3. How did you celebrate your last birthday? I cannot for the life of me remember anything about my birthday last year. I can't even remember what Chris got me as a gift. I feel terrible but I have no idea. I guess that means we will have to have a big celebration this year. 4. What is on your bedside table? A lamp, a couple of books, my iPad, a picture of Maverick, the baby monitor, and all the remotes for our bedroom TV for certa...

I read a blog post this week that really ruffled my feathers. In it, the author insinuated that working mothers did not love their children as much or invest as much time in their children as stay at home moms. Needless to say, as a working mom I was pretty angry about the whole thing. So I did what any sane person would do and took the matter to Twitter where I found my righteous indignation to be well matched. I felt better knowing that others agreed with my viewpoint but I was still upset about the post and bothered that it had gotten to me so much. That really got me thinking. Did I really want to be a stay at home mom? Was that why this was eating at me? Do I really feel like there was truth to the thought that I wasn't investing in my child or that I was letting someone else raise him or that I didn't love him to my fullest? The answer is no to all of the above. There is no doubt that I love Jackson with all my heart. Anyone who sees us together knows that. Nor is ther...

Hi there! It's your wayward blogger here. You remember how I said I was going to blog everyday for a month and then disappeared? Yeah, that wasn't good. Sorry about that. I have all the good intentions to make that up to you. I can't make any promises because life is still busy. But I do still want to record what's going on if for no other reason than for me to look back and see what happened. I'd still like to talk about some of the topics I set up for November. So I'm back and I have plenty to write. Here's hoping I can actually get it down on paper.