Monday, June 23, 2008
There are days where I feel like I am stuck in limbo. Where it seems like the world is moving around me and I am simply standing still. About a week ago I found out that J has a girlfriend and I was much more devastated by this news than I ever expected to be. You would think that 4 months later I would be able to let go and move on. Apparently I have moved on as in dating again but the letting go seems to be the hard part. I don't really understand why I still care so much about a man who wants absolutely nothing to do with me. Dena and I have discussed this at great lengths and while my head seems to get it, my heart isn't catching on. One thing that she said to me is that it is really easy to get nostalgic when you are lonely and she is right. I don't think it helps that I have hit a bit of a dry spell in the dating department. It isn't that I can't get dates, it is that I am not really feeling an attraction or a connection to the guys I am meeting. I would almost rather not date than feel nothing. I am just at a very frustrating and confusing point right now and I just want to run away from it all. I am hoping that my trip to Alabama will give me a much needed break and time for reflection. However, I know this same trip home last year left me more confused than I was before I left. I am not expecting to have answers but a little clarity would be nice.