Saturday, May 19, 2007
Friday, May 18, 2007
Sunday, May 13, 2007
Of course church today was focused on mothers. The pastor recognized all the mothers in the congregation and I couldn’t help but wonder if I would ever want to join that club. I agree with what the pastor said about children being a gift from God but I just don’t know if I can do it. I see these women deal with the military lifestyle and raise children primarily on their own and I don’t think I could handle it. I could hardly handle a puppy by myself the last time Shawn was gone. Could I really take care of a baby by myself? My husband frequently tells me that he married me because I had the strength it would take to be a military spouse. However, I believe that having a child to deal with on top of everything else would push the limits of my strength. It is hard enough to take care of myself and go it alone. I can’t imagine having to take care of someone else who can’t take care of themselves during a deployment. So then, why do I feel so selfish for feeling the way I do about having children?
Wednesday, May 9, 2007
OK…so it really wasn’t a surprise when my mom called yesterday and told me she saw a report about the Department of Defense releasing a list of the troops that will be deploying soon. Of course, Shawn’s unit was on that list. While that information may be a surprise to the civilian world, it is no big shock to those of us who have been living the life of preparation. We have known since Shawn changed units in September that this was on the horizon. No orders didn’t mean it wasn’t going to happen or that something might change. I have tried telling that to my mother-in-law but some how she doesn’t believe me. The funny thing to me is my mom was one of the many people in the US who missed the annoucement about the troop extensions. I guess I take for granted that the news that is important in the military world isn’t as relevant to those on the outside. I just hope that the extension is a sign that this crazy situation will be coming to an end soon.
On a side note: I want to apologize for my disappearing act. I have not had much free time recently. Not that it is totally an excuse but I also haven’t had much to say. I have been disappearing from a lot recently strickly out of a need to be alone. I hope to break out of that soon.