Thursday, April 23, 2009

Ways to Turn Me Off

I have learned a few things in my latest attempt at the online dating world. I decided to check out Plenty of Fish after hearing some others talk about the site. And much like my last experience with a free dating site, I found that the quality of men was not the greatest. My biggest lesson learned in this process would be the many things a man can do to turn me off. Here are a few examples:
  1. Spend our entire first telephone conversation talking about how much pot you like to smoke.
  2. Call me at 2:30 in the morning because I haven't returned your text from the previous day.
  3. Tell me you are no longer interested because I was on the phone with my mother when you called and it was too late to return your call.
  4. Become extremely clingy after a couple of instant messenger chats.
  5. Post comments referencing me in Facebook quizzes when we haven't even met.
Needless to say, I canceled my Plenty of Fish membership a week after I setup the profile.

Friday, April 17, 2009

Quotes for the Day

Because I just think they are too funny not to share, I have a couple more quotes from my online dating emails that are worth the laugh.

  • "im looking for a good hearted woman i can get to know i am a nice easy going guy that does landscaping for a living if you are interested just send a reply back"
Yet again a grown man who cannot use puncuation.  The only thing I would seriously be interested in would be the landscaping work.  I need the bushes in my front yard replaced.

  • "How are you doing today? You are amazingly attractive. You must drive all the guys on here crazy. Check out my profile and let me know if you might consider getting together and fooling around..."
Wow, he thinks I am attractive.  Great!  He was hot! I do not want to get together and fool around.  If I was just looking to fool around, I would go to the closest bar and get drunk. 

Thursday, April 16, 2009

There are Plenty of Fish in the Sea

The online dating community exists to create harmonious matches that will hopefully lead to marriage. This has not been my experience. However, it has been a great source of amusement and entertainment for me. So today I am sharing with you some of the gems I have received recently. Also, revisit this gem from my past for a good laugh.
  • good eving how are you my names trony im 27 about to be 28 never married or had abny kids im intersted in getting to know more about you and starting from friends i like the out doors things like that playing pool i work fulltime as wrecker driver in n austin i love my job helping people in trouble any how if yopu would like to talk drop me aline

I am so glad that trony decided to get in touch with me and show me not only his inability to spell but also to form a sentence and use punctuation.

  • So supposedly, whatever criteria go into matching people up on this site thinks that I like ugly I'm going through all these pics of uglies and I see your pic. I'm like...hey, she's not ugly, she couldn't possible be...(dramatic pause) A MATCH! I don't know what they mean by "a match," but I thought it might be worth checking out...after all, we're on plenty of fish for a reason, right?

I guess I am supposed to be flattered that he doesn't think I am ugly but I am still not exactly sure what I make of his email. I mean seriously why would you say all this. It's unnecessary.

  • So you are a Crimson Tide..does that mean we gonna be fighting coz im a die hard longhorn.

First off, I am not going to fight with you for rooting for another football team unless it is Auburn or Tennessee. Secondly, we are adults. Can we talk like it and refrain from using juvenile language?

  • hollarrrrr
    hey hey
    at my cousins house and living with aunt and uncle until.....
    just moved here last sat. i'm having a blast and I love everything..
    here in austin
    my profile from the lake home is still real until, i sell it.
    lets get in touch, if you're fun or funny...if not, i promise to make you laugh!

This email was written by a 40 year old man. I don't think I need to say anymore than that.