Tuesday, November 18, 2008

My Series of Unfortunate Events

I have been writing this blog in my head since last night. This blog came from a series of events that while not at all related have made for an interesting 24-hour period for me. It started with posts from two of my fellow divorce club bloggers about how to handling their exes moving on. In their cases, they were referring to their ex-husbands. For me, I am fortunate that while the thought of Shawn getting married again seems weird, it doesn't bother me. My thought is more power to the poor soul who ends up with him. I know what life with him was like and I don't wish that on my worst enemy. I know he is dating someone in his hometown which I think is great since she is probably more what he was looking for in the first place. What I do have to deal with is the guys I have dated post divorce moving on which brings up event #2 that also happened last night. I came across a picture of J and his new girlfriend at a party. While James wasted no time finding someone else to date within a month of us breaking up, J was a different story. When he said he needed time to himself, he wasn't lying. However he has been dating his current girlfriend since at least June. (Isn't it amazing what you can find on the internet these days.) I can't decide if I should be insulted or laugh when I see the pictures of the two of them together. While this may sound conceited, I feel (and my friends have said) that I am far more attractive than the girls that both James and J have replaced me with. While I wish them both happiness (well, maybe not totally if we are honest here), I wonder what I am doing wrong given that I have not been able to have a successful relationship since my divorce. I don't think I am asking to much in what I want from a man but apparently it comes across that way. I didn't realize that wanting someone to call me and show me attention was asking too much.

Event #3 happened this afternoon after I had my laser hair removal treatment. The clinic (if you call it that) is located next to my favorite sushi restaurant so I decided to head there for dinner after my appointment. Well, I finished my appointment shortly after 5 and Tomo didn't open until 5:30 so I needed to find a way to kill some time. Remembering that there was a Walgreen's nearby, I headed there to stroll around and pick up a few random items (chocolate included). You know how when you stop looking for something or expecting to see it that's exactly when you do. Well, I had one of those moments today. J used to look for Dell gift cards every time we went to the store because his team at work had been responsible for developing the product and we could never seem to find them. That got me in the habit of looking for them when I was shopping with the hope that I would come across one so I could take a picture of it and send it to him. I don't really know when I stopped looking for them but the thought hadn't crossed my mind in a while. After a conversation today with my brother about Christmas and birthday presents for my family, I decided to check out the gift card mall at Walgreen's to see if they had any of the ones we were looking for. And there it was...the Dell gift card. I couldn't help but smile. A year later and there are still reminders of him all around me. I didn't take a picture of it because I knew he wouldn't care but the fact that I finally found one and have that information in my head made it all the better.

So I headed back to Tomo a little forlorn and indulged myself in two fabulous sushi rolls while sitting at the bar. It's always nice to sit at the bar there because the chefs are there to talk to you when you are busy. I can't figure out of the chef who made my rolls was flirting with me or not but he didn't seem to want me to leave when I was heading out the door. Of course the three glasses of wine I consumed made me a tad flirty as well. I just wasn't wanting to go home to my empty house tonight. Another night alone didn't sound appealing to me at all. So it was nice to have someone to talk to. Of course the question came up when I said no one was waiting for me at home..."What, is your husband not home?" It still seems strange to think that I don't have a husband anymore. It's a good thing I know it's for the best.

No comments: