Thursday, August 12, 2010

Stepmotherhood

        So I have had this post swirling around in my head for a while now and I have been ready to write it for a variety of reasons.  Mostly I am afraid of the backlash that might come from it or the less than supportive comments I might receive.  I have already heard that I knew what I was getting myself into when I married the Sheriff but that doesn't change the reality of being a stepmother.  Its a difficult job even under the easiest of situations and ours, while not the most difficult, would not be considered an easy situation.
        I have been around Kiddo since day one of my relationship with the Sheriff because he has primary custody.  With the Sheriff's ex being in the military and living more than 2 thousand miles away, there is no weekend visitation to offset the time we have Kiddo.  Instead, he spends the summers with his mom and the rest of the year with us.  At 6 years old, that is confusing for him and difficult for us to explain.  With the summer drawing to a close and school starting back soon, the Kiddo's return to Texas is upon us.  He will be home in a week.
        Now this is where the area of my concern comes in.  Prior to the summer, Kiddo would stay with me some and with his grandparents some while the Sheriff was at work.  On the weekends, he would split his time between our house and theirs.  Typically I had him one day and I had one day off.  Once he returns, he won't be spending time at his grandparents anymore.  It's all on me.  There will be some days that the primary responsibility of caring for Kiddo will fall on my shoulders because the Sheriff will be sleeping (gotta love the night shift).  To say I am anxious about this would be an understatement.  I am terrified.  I am worried about losing some of the freedom I have had over the last 3 years of being single (and even before thanks to deployments).  I am worried about Kiddo's transition back to our house after spending so much time with his mom and how is he going to react to her upcoming deployment.  It just feels like a lot to take on all at once and I am overwhelmed at the thought of all of it.  My husband is trying to be supportive and understanding but the truth is he will never understand what it is like to be standing where I am standing right now.  All I can do at this point is pray that everything goes smoothly, hope for the best and prepare for the worst.
      

1 comment:

Sarah Lena said...

Hugs.

It gets easier in ways that you hope it will, and then finds entirely new ways to be hard.

Just remember that it never, EVER has to be perfect.