Tiptoeing Back to Reality

Chris went back to work this week.  I was pretty anxious about being left at home with both of the guys for the majority of the day but it has been a relatively smooth week.  Jackson has been pretty easy to handle and Sean went back to school today so that has made the week go by faster than I expected it would.  However, this turn of events means that it is only a matter of time before I head back to work myself.  I am scheduled to have about 3 more weeks off work.  The sheer thought of going back is tearing me apart.  I don't want to leave Jackson even though I know he will be in the safe and loving hands of my mom for the first couple of weeks after my return to work.  But still it is going to kill me to feel like I am missing out on my time with my son.  I just love watching him sleep.  I love the adorable faces he makes when he is dreaming his baby dreams.  It's going to be so hard to leave him and be away from him for the better part of 10 hours a day.  I knew it would be difficult but I had no idea how much I would dread it.  Chris caught me crying last week because I found out my co-workers are counting down the days until I return to the office.  It just really upset me.  Jackson is already growing so fast that I just know I am going to miss some important parts of his life if I am not with him every day.

I snapped this picture of Jackson with my teddy bear, Trevor, this afternoon while Chris was getting ready for work.  The outfit is a newborn outfit that he has worn a couple of times before.  The shorts were too big initially but now he can actually wear them (although I still think he looks like ghetto baby in shorts).  He just isn't listening to my instructions to stay tiny forever.