Thursday, April 5, 2012

Solo Flight

Way back during the summer shortly after I had Jackson I received a phone call from my mom one night telling me that I had been nominated to be Treasurer of my college's Alumni Board for the next 2 years.  The conversation went something like this:

Mom: "You are going to get a call from Carol May asking if you want to be treasurer of the Alumni Board. Tell her you'll do it."
Me: "OK"

Basically, I am fortunate enough to be friends with the current president of our board (I've known her most of my life) and she nominated me for the position despite the fact I live 3 states away from the school.  And since my mother will look for any excuse she can find to get Jackson me home, this was perfect for her because I would have to make at least 2 trips home a year for the next 2 years.  Over time I started to get more and more excited about the idea. My school is getting ready to celebrate it's 175th anniversary and I will be on the board for that event. Once the official nominations came out in October, I couldn't wait for April to get here so I could make the trip.

Then Mom was diagnosed with lymphoma and everything changed. I debating turning down the office. I questioned whether or not it would be a good idea to make the trip. I don't even know if my mom will be able to go with me. And now I'm just scared. Scared of how she is going to be and how I am going to react when I see her.  Rather than be excited about this trip, I am dreading it. Not only will I be taking Jackson on his first plane ride alone at 8 months old, I will possibly be driving another 3 hours away from my hometown to the college where I might spend the entire weekend solo parenting my son.  This wouldn't be so bad at my house but, away from everything familiar to him, I fear it will be a nightmare.  I can definitely tell the stress of the situation is getting to me. My shoulders and neck are in knots and my anxiety is through the roof right now.

So please send any and all good thoughts my way next week as I head to Alabama on Wednesday.  I pray that Mom is feeling up to the trip to Marion because I really want her to be there with me and I know I will be disappointed if she doesn't get to go. And pray that Jackson is calm on the flights so that I can keep what little sanity I still have intact over the weekend.


CraftyHope said...

Prayers, prayers, and more prayers. . .plus a hug or two thrown in for good measure!

CraftyHope said...

OH! And if you need anything, you know I'm right here. :)

Jessica said...

You can do this, Julie! I'll be thinking of you. Tweet when you're especially in need of good thoughts!

PinkieBling said...

Sending good thoughts and virtual hugs!

aubieangel said...

Sending good thoughts and prayers... for you, your mama, and your baby boy. Exciting that you get to come back "home," and I know you'll be happy to spend some time with your mom... even if it's not as much time as you'd like or under the best of circumstances.

Erica said...

I get stressed out about travel even under the best circumstances. Good luck!