Anxious Much?

Something happened today that I haven't experienced before: a tearful daycare drop off. Even from his tiny days, Jackson has easily gone to his teacher in the mornings without so much as a whimper. This was so reassuring to me as I struggled with having to put my baby in daycare even though I knew I had no choice but to be a working mom. But things have changed and now we are dealing with separation anxiety full force at the worst possible time.

See, my company decided to try a 4/10 schedule for the summer to allow the employees to have more time with their families. So on top of my 45 minute commute, I am working 10 hour days. The schedule change hasn't been terrible but it means I get home about 30 minutes before Jackson is ready to go to sleep. On the days Chris takes him to daycare, that little time at night is the only time he sees me. I'm not quite sure how that equates to more time with my family.

So Jackson misses me. That is both a good and bad thing. Good because I love that he needs me and wants to spend time with me. Bad because it's hard to get away now without feeling guilty.

This whole thing started with him fussing when I left him in the church nursery a couple of weeks ago. I chalked it up to him not being as familiar with the nursery as he is daycare. But the whole time in service I wanted to go get him. Of course he was fine when we went back to pick him up.

Now it's him tearing up when I leave for work in the mornings or standing in the window at daycare crying as my car pulls out of the driveway. I can barely stand it. Yet there is nothing I can do about it. Daycare is closed all next week for the 4th so he will get a little more Mommy and Daddy time. I hope this helps because my baby is making me sad right now.