Letters to Mom #2

 Hi Momma,

Yesterday was one month since we lost you. I cried in church. I am not really sure why except that I needed to be there. That was the first time I had cried in several days. The tears are slowing down a bit at least.

Unfortunately, Todd's wife, Melissa, passed yesterday.  Daddy is planning to go to Birmingham for the funeral. I am glad he can make it since Todd, Earl, and Todd's son, Thomas, came for your funeral. It was nice to see them.  It has been too long. I wish we were able to spend more time together as a family.

I also wanted to tell you that I am sorry we didn't tell you about Mr. Bill.  We didn't want to upset you with everything that you were dealing with.  I am sure Mr. Bill was there to escort you when you got to heaven. Daddy and I went to Mr. Bill's funeral the Saturday after you died. After we left the ceremony, we drove out to the cemetery to finalize the arrangements there. That was a tough day. 

I am doing my best to stay busy. That seems to be the only way to not dwell on what happened. I am OK if I am busy. I don't want my mind to wander. Its not that I don't want to think about you. It is that all I can think about is how much I miss you. I still struggle getting in the car and not being able to call you. That was my routine. I enjoyed those chats so much. It feels strange not to have anyone to talk to anymore.

Mother's Day is a few weeks away. I can't even think about it. I asked Chris to plan out the day because I need to be distracted. I know this is just the first of many days I will be celebrating without you. I am not prepared for how much it is going to hurt not having you here.

On a happier note, Jackson's lacrosse team won their last regular season game in overtime on Saturday. That makes them 4-3 for the season. They have a tournament on Sunday to close out the season. Then he will start his summer tournament team. He still has a lot to learn but he is enjoying it.

I guess that is all for now. I hope you are able to see us and know what is going on. And I hope you know we are OK.

Love,

Julie 



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