Sunday, November 11, 2007

Caught off guard

Just when I think I am handling single life well, something comes along and just knocks me on my butt for a while. Yesterday afternoon I decided that a little retail therapy was needed after Alabama’s loss to Mississippi State. So I got myself cleaned up from packing and headed over to the Killeen Civic Center for the OWC* Holiday Bizarre. The last couple of years I had gone and found some great home decor items and gifts for Christmas. Little did I know how hard it was going to be to step back into my former life. No sooner had I walked in the door to purchase my ticket did I run into someone from Shawn’s old unit. Granted this was a wife I had been friends with but the first question I got from here was “I thought you moved.” So then I had to proceed to tell her about the divorce. I noticed myself tearing up as I talked about it and I couldn’t understand why because I don’t get emotionally about the divorce typically. As I moved on into the bizarre, I ran into two ladies from my church who had worked with me on the ladies retreat last year. Now, I haven’t been back to church since the Sunday Shawn left so needless to say I had to commence into another round of “This is Julie’s Life.” By this point I wasn’t too much in a shopping mood anymore. So I browsed the booths looking for something to jump out at me and there, on the last row, was the final straw for my nervous breakdown. The vendor made hand painted signs with snow families on them and you could even have a little snow dog attached to the bottom of the sign to depict your family. They are absolutely adorable. I should know. I have one hanging in my closet that I purchased from her last year. I was standing in her booth trying to come up with a way to create a sign just for Maverick and me when this overwhelming sadness hit me and I had to get out of there. Of course I hurried to the closest ladies room but being a busy civic center, I couldn’t get any privacy in there. All I could think to myself was that I couldn’t believe a silly little sign could upset me so much. I made it through the divorce being final and my anniversary all in one week (two days apart) just fine. But seeing those signs just brought me to my knees. I couldn’t handle it. I miss my old life. I don’t miss my husband but I sure do miss being married. So I went home and threw myself a small pity party. However, thanks go out to Katie for stepping in to see me through it. I knew she would understand.

*Officers’ Wives Club

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