Sunday, October 18, 2009
Some Things Just Never Die
Why is it that there are some people in your life who never leave when you want them to and some that never stay? A certain person from my past has reappeared after months of no contact. I finally thought I was rid of him without having to give him the Go to Hell speech I had prepared. But no, Saturday night while I was enjoying Alabama's win over South Carolina that name popped up on a text message. All I wanted to say was what do you want and why won't you leave me alone. Instead I agreed to a drink on Tuesday night. I don't know why. I don't having any feelings for this guy anymore. I think it has to do with the loneliness and lack of romantic interest in recent months. The thing is this guy is bad for me for so many reasons and I have no desire to go back there. He makes me feel so worthless and bad about myself and I have been through this same song and dance with him too many times before. Why would I consider going back for more? The truth is that I am not. I feel sorry for him. I used to be fascinated by him and the lifestyle he led but then I realized he is really just a bitter, unhappy person and it is not my job to try to make him happy. So I will have a drink on Tuesday night (that is if he actually calls to finalize plans) and I will ask him why he wanted to see me and tell him thanks but no thanks. I have moved on. I am not the same person I was when he met me a year ago and for that reason I know there is nothing between us. We want different things and it is time for him to move on as well. Now let's just hope that I have to courage and strength to actually do what I know is the right thing for me for a change.