The Things I Cannot Say

As bloggers, we often talk amongst ourselves about those topics we cannot write about. Everyone one of us has a subject or subjects that are off limits for a variety of reasons. It could be work, in-laws, a top secret military family member. Many in the community of bloggers create an unsearchable space to place the thoughts associated with those topics. And others, such as myself, just keep those thoughts to ourselves because of the fear that there is no true secret space on the Internet.

But we don't often talk about the things we cannot say. These aren't the subjects that are off limits. These are thoughts in our minds that we can't write because of the emotion behind them. The words we won't say for fear of making true.

This is what I am dealing with right now. I have a lot I want to say and a lot I need to say but can't. Not here, not anywhere. I am afraid that I will lose it if I open my mouth and pour my heart out. It seems my silence is the only thing allowing me to hold it together right now. So forgive me if I am quiet for a while. I don't mean to be. I'm just not ready to say everything I want to say.